Seen and Heard #11

From a friend’s IM conversation…

MTme3: I guess pooping everywhere is the solution

Z03: always has been

MTme3: we seem to forget that between infancy and old age

Seen and Heard #10

Conversation between an aspiring actor (aka waiter) and a chef while standing in line at court:

Chef: Yeah, it’ll be interesting for business to see what happens with Prop 2

“Actor”: Oh yeah, which one’s that?

Chef: Animal rights

“Actor”: How will that affect restaurants?

I’m furious glad people like this will be voting today

Seen and Heard #9

Wednesday night, at a drugstore buying some hair stuff…

Effeminate male cashier: Is this good?

Me: What’s that?

Effeminate male cashier: This product, is this what you’re wearing in your hair?

Me: … No, that’s sweat

Seen and Heard #8 aka This Makes Me Happy Part VII

On my drive to work today…

Seen and Heard #7

An exchange between my friend and his date, a recent divorcee:

Her: You’re acting like my ex-husband

Him: No, I’m still here

Seen and Heard #6

On a friend’s Facebook profile:

Political Views: I’m not gay but I’d have sex with Barack Obama

Religious Views: God’s gonna be mad about my political views

Seen and Heard #5

Two blind people, hand in hand, crossing the street.  Quite literally the blind leading the blind

Seen and Heard #4

These were sold at this week’s Texas Republican Convention…

Seen and Heard #3

Inside a Los Angeles club…

Me: “Oh sorry I spilled my drink on you, do you want a napkin?”

Stuck up Girl: “Will you buy me a drink?”

Me: “No, I’m with someone… she’s right there”

Stuck up Girl: “But you spilled a drink on me”

Me: “Right, that’s why I gave you a napkin”

Seen and Heard #2

Guy next to me after spin class – “Wow that was a good workout”

Me – “You can say that again”

You can say that again? I half expected to turn around and see Danny Tanner and Uncle Joey having a serious heart to heart with little Stephanie about the difficulties of growing up as the awkward middle child (Full House reference for those of you not in the female 22-29 demographic). I shouldn’t be allowed to speak again. Ever.