When Comedy Mirrors Reality

November 27, 2008

The titles of The Onion’s most popular articles are incredibly apt:

  1. Denny’s Introduces ‘Just A Humongous Bucket Of Eggs And Meat’
  2. I’m Not One Of Those ‘Love Thy Neighbor Christians’
  3. New Video Game Designed To Have No Influence On Kids’ Behavior
  4. Video-Game Character Always Wondering Why Heartless God Always Chooses ‘Continue’
  5. Woman Profoundly Moved By Lyrics Artist Put Zero Time Or Effort Into

This Isn’t Clever

November 27, 2008

stupid-pic


Chuck Norris Can Cure Cancer but is Baffled by the Principles of Logic

November 25, 2008

chuck-norris-douche1

Chuck Norris put forth the following argument in an editorial piece he wrote for Townhall.com:

  1. Because Obama was elected by the popular vote, I accept his presidency
  2. Proposition 8 was passed by popular vote
  3. Therefore everyone should accept Proposition 8

I know what you’re thinking – this argument isn’t even valid, let alone sound! What kind of moronic imbicile penned this drivel? Unfortunately it was authored by the prophet himself, Mr. Walker Texas Ranger.

To review, here’s a valid argument:

  • If A then B – If I eat then I’m happy
  • A – I eat
  • Therefore B – I’m happy

The conclusion (I’m happy) will always be true if the premises are true (If I eat then I’m happy; I eat)

A sound argument is just a valid argument with all true premises; so the argument above is both sound and valid. However, if it wasn’t true that “If I eat then I’m happy” or “I eat” then the argument would be valid but not sound.

Make sense?

Here’s Mr. Norris’s argument in symbolic terms:

B= Barack Obama

e= was elected/passed by a popular vote

a= should be accepted by the general public

P= Proposition 8

  1. Be -> Ba
  2. Be (implied premise)
  3. Pe
  4. Pa – conclusion

This argument isn’t valid becuase even if premises #1,2, and 3 are true, the conclusion (Pa) could be true or false.

Thus, little Chucky’s “serious” political diatribe is actually quite funny becuase even if the premises he puts forth were true (e.g. points 1&2) there’s still absolutely no reason for concluding “people should accept Prop 8.” It’s cute really. Kind of like the boy in Kindergarten who draws a purple dog… not exactly right but at least he’s trying.

What’s missing, and the most difficult part of the argument (no surprise Norris left it out) is this:

B=P

Meaning there are enough similarities between B and P that for the purposes of the argument everything that applies to B also applies to P.

Barack Obama and Proposition 8… why, they’re virtually twins!


Quote of the Day

November 24, 2008

stephen-king

I don’t want to speak too disparagingly of my generation (actually I do, we had a chance to change the world and opted for the Home Shopping Network instead)

– author Stephen King, 61 yrs old


This Makes Me Happy Part XI

November 21, 2008

In a word, awesome

(The song is Brim Full of Asher by Cornershop, remixed by Fatboy Slim)


The Answer to Your Most Burning Question

November 20, 2008

Click here

In related news… check out ThingsIDidLastNight.com

Finally, if you’re one of the three people in the world who haven’t seen the spider email thread, read it here. Now. While you’re at it, check out the rest of the site too, it’s hilarious. An internet prankster at his finest.

Here’s to the web


Dear Government, Please Don’t “Save” Our Industries

November 11, 2008

grapes-of-wrath-dvdcover1The current recession combined with bad business decisions have put US automakers on the verge of bankruptcy. Now there are talks of instituting government subsidies to save an industry that is “vital” to American prosperity.

Let me tell you a little story about another industry that used to be “vital” to America.

In 1930 25% of Americans were farmers. The Great Depression hurt farmers (like everyone else) but because farming was such an “important” industry, the American government provided subsidies and other programs like the Agricultural Adjustment Act to help struggling farmers stay afloat.

The Great Depression was not the reason small farmers were losing money. Private farmers were struggling because maintaining a small farm was no longer a viable business model in any market. The government should have gotten out of the way of capitalism and let the market dictate where workers went and what prices were set.

Fast forward to today – 2% of the population lives on farms and 150,000 large farms make up 72% of all US farm sales. Farming is hardly the lifeline of blue-collar America. However, many of the subsidies created during the depression still exist today. From 1996-2002 American taxpayers paid $16 billion per year in subsidies to farmers. In 2004 it was lower – only $8 billion – but still a ridiculous figure that is even more absurd when you learn where this money is actually going.

1930’s farming = 2008 automobile production